This Post Is About Quitting Soccer

Well, I guess it's official.  I am currently resigning from my life as a college athlete.  Hanging up the boots for the time being.  There are a few reasons for this: one is that I just don't find much joy in soccer anymore.  Don't get me wrong, I still love playing, but I dread going to play more often than I relish it.  Another reason is that this is the area in my life where I still consistently get really angry, either at myself or at others.  This doesn't fit well with how I am trying to live my life and live out my faith.  I shouldn't be screaming at refs because they made one simple mistake, I shouldn't be grabbing guys' jerseys and pulling them down simply because they are faster than me, and I definitely shouldn't be kicking guys' ankles when they beat me to the ball.  It isn't that I do those things all of the time when I play, but when it happens it makes me even more angry.  Another reason is because I feel like soccer isn't as important to me as people really want it to be.  There are just a lot more things more important to me, namely my faith.  I have the feeling that people have the tendency to try and make sports fit their faith, instead of trying to mold their lives after Christ.  I feel as if there is a dichotomy between being a Christian and professing love for all and being an athlete where you try your hardest to beat somebody else.  Things like college soccer, where the games are really "important," can have a huge impact on people's lives, and I hate seeing myself try to break someones heart by beating them in a game, or ruining someones dreams because I am playing hard and succeeding.  Of course, that same thing would be true in the business world, and also anytime I apply for a job, and everything else that it relates to.  Concerning sports where it is easier for me to see the results, however, I make the distinction.  So I guess I am a bit of a hypocrite.  Anyway, I also can't take seeing people getting injured and ruining possibility for them to succeed in other areas of life as well, namely concussions.  Part of this comes from the few concussions that I have sustained in the past few years and watching my friends get head injuries.  It just isn't worth it.  And because I feel that way, I feel no need nor desire to keep playing, other than keeping other people happy because I am playing, and that isn't good enough.  Now, on the flip side of that, I can see a whole lot of good things that stem from sports.  People really can learn about life by playing sports, they learn to deal with failing and they learn how to deal with success.  Ask any athlete and they can give a whole list of reasons why sports are good for people, and I would agree with most of them, so I will refrain from listing them here.  However, while sports do have these positives, for me personally, there are more cons than pros.  I've struggled with this decision for the past three years and I feel like this year it is important for me to not play any more.  I want to use the extra time I have to focus on how I am living my life in relation to my faith, and also to hopefully focus a little more on classes.  Also, a little selfishly, I hope this opens up opportunity for me to work and make a little money.  I feel incredibly blessed to have been able to play this much, and to have ended my soccer career playing here at EMU.  The guys on the team are really awesome and it was an incredible experience to play with them this past year.  It will be tough for me to be sitting with the crowd next year, but I know that is where I need to be.  I also felt the need to write this because of how integral soccer has been to my life for the last decade and a half.  I will definitely keep playing for fun, but I feel like my college career is over.  If I do come back for an extra semester, I may re-evaluate where I am at, but next year I will not be playing.
Love and peace to all peopleeeeeeee.  And food.  Food is good.

Here is a song for you to listen to if you are bored.  Click me.

Easter Weekend

So, Easter has come and gone, however the weekend is still here.  Having Friday and Monday off was an extremely welcome change of pace for this man.  Four of us guys played Age of Empires II (Conquerors Expansion, of course) until 6am on Thursday night/Friday morning.  What a blessed time.  Friday I did three things (aside from the usual bathroom, eating, etc): Went for a short hike with Kendra's family, went to work, played Age of Empires until 1.  What a blessed day.  Saturday I did a little bit more than that.  Saturday was my birthday!  I turned twenty-one and partied hard... with some Age of Empires!!  Haha, yeah, I played a bit Saturday too.  Jon and I made pancakes and bacon for breakfast, it was glorious.  Then I went to work, Skyped my family a wee bit after work, and watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off with Kendra.  Then I went to bed.  Sunday I went to church at Community Mennonite with Kendra as well.  That is an interesting church, I like it because it is nice.  I think that is enough of a description.  Then I went to lunch with my family (well, my aunts and grandparents and cousins and such) and got a nice Easter Bunny birthday cake from my Grammy!  It was great. :)

So then I watched a movie, made some pizza, hung out with Kendra, and played more Age of Empires.  That game is stupid because it is so awesome.  We just got it last week and we need to stop playing it, but we won't cause it is great.  Yup yup.

In other news, I have switched my major to accounting.  How about that.  This means that I will be taking summer courses in '14 and one extra semester, but I will graduate with 150 credits, which is enough to take the CPA exam!  That is exciting.  But this extra work may mean that I won't play soccer next year, I just need to decide that and let coach now at some point....

I probably should have spent more time this weekend reflecting on God and all that, but I really didn't.  I'm not going to say I am fine with that, because I am really not, but I won't say that I had a bad weekend because I didn't, I have a fantastic weekend.  I just often think to myself how our lives as Christians should take up all of our lives and not just part of it, yet I don't really practice it that much.  It is just a hard thing to do.

But I have also been thinking about how we are supposed to do things as Christians, such as communion and what sort of songs we sing.  At Eastside church last Sunday we had a potluck and took communion together after we had all sat down with our food, and it felt so natural.  It really felt like that is how God calls us to be a community, around food.  I know that joke about how part of Mennonites faith revolves around food, but I think it is true.  We are called to be a community of Christ and food is something that everybody has in common.  We may eat or prepare it differently, or be allergic to some things, or whatnot, but seriously, a table full of food is an amazing place to get to know somebody, to share struggles, to share joys, to pray, to take communion.  When people go on dates, they usually go to get some food somewhere.  When families get together to celebrate holiday's, or just to get together, it is usually around food, around a meal.  So yes, it is funny that Mennonites have so many potlucks and "are happy" about the food that they make, but I believe it is also central to Jesus' teachings.  Not necessarily the food exactly, but the community that stems from the food.  That is what Christians are called to, a community of love and fellowship and taking each others burdens.  Food brings people together, even foreign dignitaries and all that jazz, and it is a form of community that, as Christians, we should not give up a chance to partake in.  This is also awesome because I love food, and hopefully you do too.

Another thing related to communion.  At church on Easter Sunday we took communion and sang this song and I took a bit of exception to it.  I have often heard about how weird we Christians are for drinking the blood and eating the flesh of Christ.  People might be all like, "Oh, vampires and cannibals, awesome."  And in this song it said something along the lines of, "Unless you eat of the flesh of the Son of Man and drink of His blood, and drink of His blood, you shall not have life within you." However, it is my understanding that we do not drink Christ's blood nor eat His flesh.  We eat bread and drink wine (or grape juice) to remember Christ's sacrifice for us.  Bread is sorta like flesh so it is a good reminder, and wine (or grape juice) is sorta like blood so it is a good reminder.  Kinda.  Anyway, the song was not a good representation of what we believe.  It made me turned off of the thought of Christianity.  Admittedly, there are those who partake in communion who do believe it really is Christ's blood and Christ's flesh (many call it the Eucharist or the Blessed Sacrament, I believe), but it is not I.  That is just weird.  And while we cannot know the workings of God, I do know that when that bread slides down my throat or the juice does, it is just that, bread and juice.  There is no transubstantiation there.  However, I guess the real belief is that it changes and we can not notice it, but Jesus says, "Do this is remembrance of Me." To me, this means that we are remembering what He did for us.  So yes, I won't be singing that song (at least that verse) any time soon.

That is what I have for today.  It has been quite awhile since I have posted here.  Shucks-man, I ain't got no discipline in this here area of mine life.
God bless,
Tyler.

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